My Journey on the ADHD drugs - so far

Titration for ADHD meds came to an end a while ago. I am now settled on Equasym 50mg daily which has fast and slow release elements to it, with a 5mg Medikinet standard release top up in the afternoon. This latter for the energy crash I was experiencing between 3 and 4 pm. During the titration due to shortages with medication I was given a similar Long-acting medication with a similar chemical profile, namely Medikinet XR 50mg. As time went on, I realised that the latter medication heightened my anxiety state and upon looking into the composition of the medication it has a slightly higher dose of immediate action medication than the Equasym. The easiest benefit to describe is from the first dose an immediate rise in my motivation to get things done. It was amazing, and it took a while for me to realise, that the little voice that has always been in my head feeding me the line, "Why are you bothering? What's the point? You don't really want to do this." was now gone. Doing even the most boring tasks was now possible. The worst side effect is my heightened awareness, of everything. Visual, audible and awareness that I am experiencing negative emotions. This last item is a revelation. Before, I have basically been blundering around and only really being aware of a deepening state of emotional imbalance by sudden explosions of anger or crippling depression. Now I am aware of the toll that certain situations take on my mental health. Noise. I know that I have always struggled with crowds of people. The noise generated by different converstaions, has always been impossible to filter out. The situation becomes overwhelming, and in the past I have withdrawn into myself, becoming steadily less interactive. I have also been known to physically remove myself from social situations, just popping outside for a breather never worked. I now know why. Buses. In the past, I have been able to travel by bus without thinking about it. However, when I reflect upon this, I would prefer to walk. I always thought that this was due to various reasons. The bus not turning up, having to wait for an extended period for a bus. Really, now I can put my finger on it: Social anxiety due to the overwhelming noise on even a partially full bus. I noticed the same issue in the GP surgery; the acoustics are awful, and even one moderately loud person becomes too much. I recently had to make a journey with my wife to an appointment. I thought I would be OK as I was with someone. It took me three days to recover, spending a lot of time in a highly anxious state. Visual. This is also true of visual stimuli. Too many visual things happening can become overwhelming. Fortunately this doesn't have the same long term effect.