Well that was a surprise

Hi there,

It has been a few years since my last post and I have faced some life changing events. 

Due to continued episodes of depression I left the NHS and became a Disability Assessor for PIP. I simply couldn't get my head around it and coupled with a sense of deep dissatisfaction in the process left that job. Everyone around me encouraged me to go back into the NHS but I had escaped, I was free, there was no way in hell I was going back!

Just before this I had lost my Mom to cancer, and this was thrown into the mix. I have treated a lot of terminal patients in my time, and I'd had enough.

So in the financial meltdown following this and not being able to get a job, we faced loosing the house. 

We took the decision to sell and became homeless. Shortly after this my Father took died, and we had not been on good terms at the end. Something I regret. 

In the midst of all that, I had started a business as a Market Trader and the business was slowly growing. I am proud to say we had one of the largest selections of incense in the West Midlands (UK).

Eventually, following more family drama we moved into a temporary house. It was in a state and the first week we had a bout of sickness and I for one thought I had reached the end. There is no fun in sitting sideways on a toilet so that you can use the sink as a vomit bowel. It went through the house.

We were then moved into council accommodation for a few months. Oh dear, that was dramatic. So called Road-Men, taking drugs and hanging around. Throwing fireworks at each other with no mind to anyone else that was about. Police raids chasing said knife wielding Roadsters and finally a brutal fight that did not appear to be linked to this bunch of people. 

We moved again into a bigger house and that is where we are now. Not going to lie, the neighbourhood could be better and there have been a few incidents. But nothing too onerous.

A few months after we moved in COVID hit. This was not before my wife terrified everyone on the market with the loudest sneeze possible at the beginning of February.

Lockdown was tough. Enough said the better.

After returning to the Market after lockdown things did not improve very quickly. So we decided to open a shop. In that first year we were flying but then a financial feux par on my part caused a down turn which the government, by crashing the economy, saw us eventually close the shop.

Then the bombshell.

My sibling was diagnosed with ADHD. I don't know why but it hit me like a bus. Looking into it it did make a lot of sense in hindsight. All the symptoms were there. As I researched it I began to recognise traits and two and a half years later, in my mid 50's I took was diagnosed with ADHD. I was also advised to seek a ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) assessment.

I have now commenced medication and awaiting the ASD assessment.

Life has been turned upside down, but now I am positive about the future.

Blessings 

April Update

Hi everyone.

Yes it's been a while. Ok quick update. I am unemployed. I was last employed as a Disability Assessor with a company called Capita. It was a move born of an extreme desire to leave the NHS. I'm sure that if you are living in the UK you will be aware of the problems that the NHS is having retaining it's staff. I'm not going to go into details but apart from one remarkable exception in the last 3 years management is under too much pressure and this is leading to a cascade of pressure onto other staff. The cause of this is lack of funding, a reduction in pay in real terms and the disastrous continuing privatisation of the service.

As for the Disability Assessors role, I went into it to help people but was unable to gain approval which is required from the Department of Work and Pensions(DWP). This on top of working 60 plus hours per week, and confusing feed back about the reports. Of the 20 people that started only one was Approved by the DWP. I'm sad to say I was relieved to leave. Prior to starting this job it was in the full realisation that I would not return to the NHS.

So why not go back to the NHS? The answer is that people are continuing to leave putting more pressure on those remaining. Given my brush with depression it would not be a good environment for me to expose myself to. Going back is not an option. So what to do?

To start I am restless, I'm doing housework, hoovering, washing up, cleaning the cooker and it isn't enough. I need more exercise and I need more money coming in. I have applied for the New enterprise allowance which I will be having a good look at at a meeting on Monday. I am also planning to restart my previous business with Utility Warehouse and have a few other things in mind as well.

One of the things I have in mind is starting a Youtube channel from the point of view of a 50 year old getting fit, 60 hours per week sitting in front of a computer screen, writing reports doesn't leave a lot of time or motivation to exercise.

Thanks for reading
Kind regards

St.John

Catch up

Feeling a little sheepish. No update for 10 months.

To say that 2107 was a difficult year is an understatement. The ward in which I worked was closed down and after a short time on a ward with a similar respiratory speciality I was again moved. This time it was to a renal ward dealing with kidney disease. The staff on this ward were brilliant and hard working, but I felt like a fish out of water. Within a couple of weeks I had decided that it was not for me and the Universe obviously had similar thoughts. I was contacted by a recruitment firm and started the process of moving into the private sector with a company called Capita in the role of a Disability Assessor for PIP.

So after nearly 22 years in the NHS I left, beginning my training for my new role. The training went on for the month of August and while it was great to meet new people the training was intense. Eventually we went off into probation and assessing people for real. It was hard made more so by personal circumstances more of which later. We had 45 minutes to assess people and then write up the reports in the afternoon, this was supposed to take 90 minutes but we had been told that this would be longer at the beginning. As time went by I found that the assessments did indeed become easier, however I found that whenever I got anywhere near the 90 minutes I'd get the reports back. I found myself sitting at the computer from 7am until going out to do the assessments around 8:30am returning at between 1:45pm and 2:40pm, I would then sit at the computer writing reports until after 8pm. The report writing simply wasn't getting any easier, each one was taking over the expected 90 minutes and was usually between 2 and 3 hours. On top of this were the reports that were sent back to be amended which also took an hour or more.

I had to have some time off due to the personal issues mentioned earlier and when I got back I had 26 reports left to get 5 acceptable reports in a row in order to be approved. It was apparent that by following the method taught on training this was not going to happen. I would have probably found this out earlier however, there was a problem that arose just after the group that I was in completed out training. In this the coaches that were usually available to us for advice were taken away to support the quality department. It took time for others to fill this position. Just after 2018 hit us I decided that enough was enough and walked away. I simply did not have any time with my family and this was putting a strain on us.

The above was compounded by my mother being diagnosed with inoperable cancer in early 2017. She was in and out of hospital, initially for chemotherapy but then had several bouts of sepsis which led to her being admitted and being in a very bad state. Eventually she came out but was readmitted to hospital in October and deteriorated and died at the end of October. She was 81. I miss her.

So that is the event of the last 10 or so months. I am now looking for a job, but I am concentrating on my business which you can find at Saving Money Will Make You Smile. If you would have a look I would really appreciate it.

Thank you for reading
Kind regards
St.John

The Weightloss fitness programme

Hello everyone. Yes it has been a while.

Since the new year I have been feeling more and more tired after work. Not sleeping well and generally feeling grotty. I had lost some wieght at the beginning of last year and could tell that that had all gone back on plus some as the belt had to go to the last hole.

The gym summoned!

Today marks the first visit of many to Firewalker Gym on Sailsbury street Wolverhampton. The people there are friendly and happy to help. Also it is only costing me  £9.99 a month which is excellent value.

I am shocked to say that my BMI is a bit high. Oh ok it's bloody ridiculous and I need to halve it.

I have a goal - loose 5 stone. Will keep you updated.

Thank you for reading
Kind regards
St.John

PTSD awareness day 1

I have been nominated to do the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) challenge by an old School friend. The challenge is to do 22 press ups every day for 22 days. The reason for this challenge is that 22 service people take their own lives every day.Something needs to be done about this.

You will find the video on YouTube

Thank you for reading
Kind Regards
St.John

Difficult times

Have had a torrid couple of months. I learned in May that a good friend had suddenly passed away. Liz was a bright spirit, she spoke her mind but would always seek to do you good. I am told that she had a temper but I am fortunate never to have witnessed it. I will always remember at the one meeting her encounter with my wife which resulted in a big hug. Yes she was a hugger, of both people and trees. If you were down she could usually get you laughing. It was a shock to hear of her passing and then seven days later another shock.

I have been very active in seeking out the spirituality that feels right to me and in this searching I came into contact with a guy called Owen. Seven days after hearing of Liz I saw a Facebook message that filled me with dread. It was a message of support for Owen's family. I immediately messaged a mutual friend to find out the awful truth. Owen had died that morning following post surgical complication. He was 42.

It is a huge regret that I feel that I had not spoken with him for years. Increasing time required with my family and him becoming a father and struggling with work and spending time with his partner, well just life really. A week became a month and then a year.

I still recall our last conversation on the phone. I was at work and gave him a call and we shared stories of how things were in our lives. After that I took comfort that he was out there doing his thing. The truth is I owed him. When we lost our little girl Dannielle in 2000 he was the one that called and kept me going. He'd usually get me laughing and helped me and my wife through that time. For that I am forever grateful.

This has made me consider things. There are people that I consider family out there that I have not spoken with for far too long. It is high time that I changed this.

As always thank you for reading
Kind regards
St.John

Update

Hi all. It's been a while! his is a general update. Following my illness that saw me being off work for several months, I have returned to work. I've been back for two months but have moved. I'm in a different place in a new job. It is taking a while to get up to speed with the new role but I am getting there.

I will be updating this blog much more regularly.

In the mean time if you are into sci-fi then check out my friend's reaction to the up coming Star Wars film Rogue One

Thanks for reading

Kind Regards
St.John