The Low Point

I was going to call this post Humpty Dumpty. My positive mind set has taken a beating again and has robbed me of my motivation.I'm not going to talk about what triggered it, I know what it was and there was it seemed precious little I could do about it. I can however endeavour to sort my thinking out and challenge the negativity. Not an easy task.

The build up of this I should have seen coming, it is one of the reasons these posts were absent in October. But it is pointless beating myself up over such things.

One exercise I have done with success in the past is to be aware of what is in my life that I am grateful for. I sit down with a pen and a piece of paper and write out a list. That list is currently very short and centres on my family.

The temtation is there to vent my dispair in full on here. There is a lot of anger that this has happened again but past experience is that the anger becomes directed inwards and makes it all worse. Going into detail about the problem concentrates the mind on the underlying mental state. You have to be ready for that, it is the only way through and the danger is that if you do it before you are ready it makes things a lot worse. You need that mental fortitude to be able to push through to get you out of the dark well of the negative thouhts.

So I absent myself from the trigger while I rebuild my defences and contemplate actions that may ultimately spare me this ugly experience.

Kind regards
St.John