Realisation Bombs

One of the most challenging issues with being late diagnosed, and lets face it I am almost a geriatric diagnosis, is the sudden realisation that something (or more likely realisations) that happened did so as a direct result of neurodivergence. This realisation can be sudden and prompted by other occurrences, or even tangential thinking. The current issue was brought to my attention by reading that someone else, found that doing a course when working was too much. Que Lightening bolt. After I finished my nurse training, it was generally expected that you undertake further formal study. Most of these courses were at degree level and would have helped me to achieve a degree in some nursing subject. This was pushed quite a lot. Typically of me, after qualifying as an RN, I started a serious relationship and before the second anniversary of qualifying we had a baby on the way. I had not been around many babies growing up and I had beaten my sibling to the event. To say that I was apprehensive about the impending birth is an understatement. The pressure to continue with my academic studies was growing, and as I was unable to get on the much coveted 118 Teaching and Mentoring course, I decided to do the course I was really interested in. The 928 Diabetes course. I thoroughly enjoyed the course, and learned a lot and reconnected with one of my first mentors when I was studying. All went well, I did amazingly well in the course work and that left a final presentation. The Presentation was explaining the ideas behind a self-designed leaflet, including all of the supporting information and research. I had an idea, it was off the wall, but had a solid basis in research. The day before the presentation the companion of doom became overwhelming. "It's, a stupid idea. Not only that it is silly. You will fail. What's the point?" I panicked, called in sick, there was no way I could present this in front of my peers. I would fail and be humiliated. RSD in full blown glory, there protecting me from the inevitable. I remember the anxiety, the fear, the shame. Eventually I did give the presentation in front of the tutors and passed the course. It was the one and only time I completed an academic work after qualification. The overwhelm, anxiety, fear, and failure of self-esteem are all recurrent themes, added to by the arrival of more children and my inability to manage the time at home. Full time work and children is a lot. Today even in my medicated state I think that I would struggle to do this and all of my children are over 18 now. There is however, our grandchild that keeps us on our toes. This realisation occurred yesterday, it derailed my morning. Rejection sensitivity pointing gleefully - it was me. Oh well carrying on. Be well everyone.

My Journey on the ADHD drugs - so far

Titration for ADHD meds came to an end a while ago. I am now settled on Equasym 50mg daily which has fast and slow release elements to it, with a 5mg Medikinet standard release top up in the afternoon. This latter for the energy crash I was experiencing between 3 and 4 pm. During the titration due to shortages with medication I was given a similar Long-acting medication with a similar chemical profile, namely Medikinet XR 50mg. As time went on, I realised that the latter medication heightened my anxiety state and upon looking into the composition of the medication it has a slightly higher dose of immediate action medication than the Equasym. The easiest benefit to describe is from the first dose an immediate rise in my motivation to get things done. It was amazing, and it took a while for me to realise, that the little voice that has always been in my head feeding me the line, "Why are you bothering? What's the point? You don't really want to do this." was now gone. Doing even the most boring tasks was now possible. The worst side effect is my heightened awareness, of everything. Visual, audible and awareness that I am experiencing negative emotions. This last item is a revelation. Before, I have basically been blundering around and only really being aware of a deepening state of emotional imbalance by sudden explosions of anger or crippling depression. Now I am aware of the toll that certain situations take on my mental health. Noise. I know that I have always struggled with crowds of people. The noise generated by different converstaions, has always been impossible to filter out. The situation becomes overwhelming, and in the past I have withdrawn into myself, becoming steadily less interactive. I have also been known to physically remove myself from social situations, just popping outside for a breather never worked. I now know why. Buses. In the past, I have been able to travel by bus without thinking about it. However, when I reflect upon this, I would prefer to walk. I always thought that this was due to various reasons. The bus not turning up, having to wait for an extended period for a bus. Really, now I can put my finger on it: Social anxiety due to the overwhelming noise on even a partially full bus. I noticed the same issue in the GP surgery; the acoustics are awful, and even one moderately loud person becomes too much. I recently had to make a journey with my wife to an appointment. I thought I would be OK as I was with someone. It took me three days to recover, spending a lot of time in a highly anxious state. Visual. This is also true of visual stimuli. Too many visual things happening can become overwhelming. Fortunately this doesn't have the same long term effect.

Now that was interesting

Last night I fancied a beer. The medication I am on forbids alcohol so I went in search of a non-alcoholic beer.

The range was very low, but I saw an IPA and thought that this may be close to acceptable. Unfortunately it wasn't alcohol free, but at 0.5% I decided that it was so weak it wouldn't matter.

Well, I was wrong. It tasted perfect. A lovely beer. Unfortunately I did start to get some strange sensations in my head. Nothing major but enough to put me off.

Ah well.

Second Increase

Today I started on 30mg up from 20. 

I am generally doing well. When I started the 20mg last week I did experience some gastrointestinal issues. Gastric reflux and problems going to the toilet for number 2. 

I have noticed the medication wearing off in the mid-afternoon, after which I become quite tired. The benefit of this is that I am having little trouble getting to sleep.

I am also 3 weeks since I had an alcoholic drink. I miss it occasionally but nothing major. 

Blood pressure and pulse are doing really well. Nothing to worry about there.

I am back as a Market Trader now, and have realised that it is easier to focus. I am going to have to go through Access to Work and seek some help. The noise at the Market is very distracting and I am getting through notebooks at a frightening rate.

One more increase next week.

ADHD Medication titration

I have just taken my third dose of Equasym XL 10mg. Here is how it is going.

Day One

Didn't know what to expect. Psychologically I think I was apprehensive and felt it. I seemed to have a bit of pressure in my head, so concerned I took my blood pressure. It was in my normal range, so I relaxed.

I slowly started to realise that the usual reluctance to do anything that I wasn't immediately excited by was absent. I felt free from frustration for the first time in my life. I was so productive it was unreal.

The only downside was sleep. By that time the medication should have worn off, having an effective action of between 6 and 10 hours. Sleep, was elusive but unusually not due to a racing mind.

On the whole though really satisfied with it.

Day Two

First day at work as a Market Trader on medication. More organised than ever. A very slow day which would normally leave a deep set feeling of frustration. Found today to be more disappointing than frustrating. 

Tiredness very apparent today was glad to get to bed. Little trouble sleeping.

Thoughts 

So far so good. Over all very positive, but it it early days yet. Over the next 3 weeks there will be three dose increases. Time will tell.

Well that was a surprise

Hi there,

It has been a few years since my last post and I have faced some life changing events. 

Due to continued episodes of depression I left the NHS and became a Disability Assessor for PIP. I simply couldn't get my head around it and coupled with a sense of deep dissatisfaction in the process left that job. Everyone around me encouraged me to go back into the NHS but I had escaped, I was free, there was no way in hell I was going back!

Just before this I had lost my Mom to cancer, and this was thrown into the mix. I have treated a lot of terminal patients in my time, and I'd had enough.

So in the financial meltdown following this and not being able to get a job, we faced loosing the house. 

We took the decision to sell and became homeless. Shortly after this my Father took died, and we had not been on good terms at the end. Something I regret. 

In the midst of all that, I had started a business as a Market Trader and the business was slowly growing. I am proud to say we had one of the largest selections of incense in the West Midlands (UK).

Eventually, following more family drama we moved into a temporary house. It was in a state and the first week we had a bout of sickness and I for one thought I had reached the end. There is no fun in sitting sideways on a toilet so that you can use the sink as a vomit bowel. It went through the house.

We were then moved into council accommodation for a few months. Oh dear, that was dramatic. So called Road-Men, taking drugs and hanging around. Throwing fireworks at each other with no mind to anyone else that was about. Police raids chasing said knife wielding Roadsters and finally a brutal fight that did not appear to be linked to this bunch of people. 

We moved again into a bigger house and that is where we are now. Not going to lie, the neighbourhood could be better and there have been a few incidents. But nothing too onerous.

A few months after we moved in COVID hit. This was not before my wife terrified everyone on the market with the loudest sneeze possible at the beginning of February.

Lockdown was tough. Enough said the better.

After returning to the Market after lockdown things did not improve very quickly. So we decided to open a shop. In that first year we were flying but then a financial feux par on my part caused a down turn which the government, by crashing the economy, saw us eventually close the shop.

Then the bombshell.

My sibling was diagnosed with ADHD. I don't know why but it hit me like a bus. Looking into it it did make a lot of sense in hindsight. All the symptoms were there. As I researched it I began to recognise traits and two and a half years later, in my mid 50's I took was diagnosed with ADHD. I was also advised to seek a ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) assessment.

I have now commenced medication and awaiting the ASD assessment.

Life has been turned upside down, but now I am positive about the future.

Blessings 

April Update

Hi everyone.

Yes it's been a while. Ok quick update. I am unemployed. I was last employed as a Disability Assessor with a company called Capita. It was a move born of an extreme desire to leave the NHS. I'm sure that if you are living in the UK you will be aware of the problems that the NHS is having retaining it's staff. I'm not going to go into details but apart from one remarkable exception in the last 3 years management is under too much pressure and this is leading to a cascade of pressure onto other staff. The cause of this is lack of funding, a reduction in pay in real terms and the disastrous continuing privatisation of the service.

As for the Disability Assessors role, I went into it to help people but was unable to gain approval which is required from the Department of Work and Pensions(DWP). This on top of working 60 plus hours per week, and confusing feed back about the reports. Of the 20 people that started only one was Approved by the DWP. I'm sad to say I was relieved to leave. Prior to starting this job it was in the full realisation that I would not return to the NHS.

So why not go back to the NHS? The answer is that people are continuing to leave putting more pressure on those remaining. Given my brush with depression it would not be a good environment for me to expose myself to. Going back is not an option. So what to do?

To start I am restless, I'm doing housework, hoovering, washing up, cleaning the cooker and it isn't enough. I need more exercise and I need more money coming in. I have applied for the New enterprise allowance which I will be having a good look at at a meeting on Monday. I am also planning to restart my previous business with Utility Warehouse and have a few other things in mind as well.

One of the things I have in mind is starting a Youtube channel from the point of view of a 50 year old getting fit, 60 hours per week sitting in front of a computer screen, writing reports doesn't leave a lot of time or motivation to exercise.

Thanks for reading
Kind regards

St.John

Catch up

Feeling a little sheepish. No update for 10 months.

To say that 2107 was a difficult year is an understatement. The ward in which I worked was closed down and after a short time on a ward with a similar respiratory speciality I was again moved. This time it was to a renal ward dealing with kidney disease. The staff on this ward were brilliant and hard working, but I felt like a fish out of water. Within a couple of weeks I had decided that it was not for me and the Universe obviously had similar thoughts. I was contacted by a recruitment firm and started the process of moving into the private sector with a company called Capita in the role of a Disability Assessor for PIP.

So after nearly 22 years in the NHS I left, beginning my training for my new role. The training went on for the month of August and while it was great to meet new people the training was intense. Eventually we went off into probation and assessing people for real. It was hard made more so by personal circumstances more of which later. We had 45 minutes to assess people and then write up the reports in the afternoon, this was supposed to take 90 minutes but we had been told that this would be longer at the beginning. As time went by I found that the assessments did indeed become easier, however I found that whenever I got anywhere near the 90 minutes I'd get the reports back. I found myself sitting at the computer from 7am until going out to do the assessments around 8:30am returning at between 1:45pm and 2:40pm, I would then sit at the computer writing reports until after 8pm. The report writing simply wasn't getting any easier, each one was taking over the expected 90 minutes and was usually between 2 and 3 hours. On top of this were the reports that were sent back to be amended which also took an hour or more.

I had to have some time off due to the personal issues mentioned earlier and when I got back I had 26 reports left to get 5 acceptable reports in a row in order to be approved. It was apparent that by following the method taught on training this was not going to happen. I would have probably found this out earlier however, there was a problem that arose just after the group that I was in completed out training. In this the coaches that were usually available to us for advice were taken away to support the quality department. It took time for others to fill this position. Just after 2018 hit us I decided that enough was enough and walked away. I simply did not have any time with my family and this was putting a strain on us.

The above was compounded by my mother being diagnosed with inoperable cancer in early 2017. She was in and out of hospital, initially for chemotherapy but then had several bouts of sepsis which led to her being admitted and being in a very bad state. Eventually she came out but was readmitted to hospital in October and deteriorated and died at the end of October. She was 81. I miss her.

So that is the event of the last 10 or so months. I am now looking for a job, but I am concentrating on my business which you can find at Saving Money Will Make You Smile. If you would have a look I would really appreciate it.

Thank you for reading
Kind regards
St.John

The Weightloss fitness programme

Hello everyone. Yes it has been a while.

Since the new year I have been feeling more and more tired after work. Not sleeping well and generally feeling grotty. I had lost some wieght at the beginning of last year and could tell that that had all gone back on plus some as the belt had to go to the last hole.

The gym summoned!

Today marks the first visit of many to Firewalker Gym on Sailsbury street Wolverhampton. The people there are friendly and happy to help. Also it is only costing me  £9.99 a month which is excellent value.

I am shocked to say that my BMI is a bit high. Oh ok it's bloody ridiculous and I need to halve it.

I have a goal - loose 5 stone. Will keep you updated.

Thank you for reading
Kind regards
St.John

PTSD awareness day 1

I have been nominated to do the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) challenge by an old School friend. The challenge is to do 22 press ups every day for 22 days. The reason for this challenge is that 22 service people take their own lives every day.Something needs to be done about this.

You will find the video on YouTube

Thank you for reading
Kind Regards
St.John

Difficult times

Have had a torrid couple of months. I learned in May that a good friend had suddenly passed away. Liz was a bright spirit, she spoke her mind but would always seek to do you good. I am told that she had a temper but I am fortunate never to have witnessed it. I will always remember at the one meeting her encounter with my wife which resulted in a big hug. Yes she was a hugger, of both people and trees. If you were down she could usually get you laughing. It was a shock to hear of her passing and then seven days later another shock.

I have been very active in seeking out the spirituality that feels right to me and in this searching I came into contact with a guy called Owen. Seven days after hearing of Liz I saw a Facebook message that filled me with dread. It was a message of support for Owen's family. I immediately messaged a mutual friend to find out the awful truth. Owen had died that morning following post surgical complication. He was 42.

It is a huge regret that I feel that I had not spoken with him for years. Increasing time required with my family and him becoming a father and struggling with work and spending time with his partner, well just life really. A week became a month and then a year.

I still recall our last conversation on the phone. I was at work and gave him a call and we shared stories of how things were in our lives. After that I took comfort that he was out there doing his thing. The truth is I owed him. When we lost our little girl Dannielle in 2000 he was the one that called and kept me going. He'd usually get me laughing and helped me and my wife through that time. For that I am forever grateful.

This has made me consider things. There are people that I consider family out there that I have not spoken with for far too long. It is high time that I changed this.

As always thank you for reading
Kind regards
St.John

Update

Hi all. It's been a while! his is a general update. Following my illness that saw me being off work for several months, I have returned to work. I've been back for two months but have moved. I'm in a different place in a new job. It is taking a while to get up to speed with the new role but I am getting there.

I will be updating this blog much more regularly.

In the mean time if you are into sci-fi then check out my friend's reaction to the up coming Star Wars film Rogue One

Thanks for reading

Kind Regards
St.John

Rising from the ashes

As I posted yesterday there haven't been any posts from me for a while. I think it was an allergic reaction to January, iand a general lack of motivation due to my illness. 

The last five months have seen a thining of the celebrity heard. It is odd that you never realise the effect that some of these people have on you. Both David Bowie and Lemmy Kilmister played a significant part in the soundtrack of my youth, and it would be remiss to say that Prince also had an influence. Terry Wogan deserves a mention for making my mother incapable of anything due to the sudden mirth he was able to impart on those mornings when she was packing us off to school. It is very sad that these people are no longer here.

So I am back at work. There has been a scary learning curve and I think it is safe to say that I am still learning. It is enjoyable though, however given the attitude of HMG to the public sector I wonder how long it will remain so.I am being helped in this return to work by a gentleman by the name of John C. Parkin. I have recently bought his book "F**k It! It is the most profound, profane and entertaining philosophy I have ever read. My wife is sick of my sudden outbursts of laughter and the quotes... oh the quotes! I highly recommend this work. It is available from good book shops and online the ISBN is 978-1-78180-296-0.

Well that's  all for now.

Thanks for reading.
Kind regards
St.John

Becoming better

It is a week on from a big company event and I feel reluctant. My apathy centres around of all things reading, i particular self-development books.

Now I know these books or rather the information in them is likely to help me. So what was the problem?

The answer is simple. I had gotten out of the habit of reading, I had chosen to stop. On realising this I had a decision to make. Carry on as I am and stay the same - not really a good idea! Or choose to make the effort and pick up the books again.

I have gone with the latter and recommited myself to read ten pages per day. Sometimes this means reading five pages twice, especially if I find the information powerful like I did this morning. The book, Leading an Inspired life by Jim Rohn, an excellent place to start, the chapters are short and powerful. It covers everything from personal relationships to business, dealing with negativity and success.

So off I go having chosen to make a difference to me.

Thank you for reading.
Kind regards
St.John

I am glad that is all over. Hope everyone had a great Yule tide and best wishes for a Happy New year 2016.

I have to admit that the festive season this year has left me drained (emotionally and well you know). I could do with a holiday - for my US readers a vacation, but that isn't going to happen any time soon.

There is a lot going on this year, but I am most excited by the Marvel film Dr Strange - a childhood favourite. I just hope that they tighten up the origin story a bit. I went back and read the original story and hmm.

There is also an extra day in February and the Rio Olympics later in the year.

That is all for now. I will be writing again over the next few days.

Kind regards
St.John

Jurassic World my take

I have seen and heard various film critics wax lyrical about various films having a hidden meaning and what those meanings are. Some of these are actually confirmed by the director but most appear to be opinions.

Now sometimes these are fairly obvious and I must admit that if this not the case I tend not to worry about it. For me films are about entertainment.

Spoiler Alert! If you haven't already seen the film there are some significant spoilers below. You have been warned.

I have just finished watching Jurassic World and was hit by the allegory that appeared to me in that film. Now I have not seen any commentary about this work so this is my take on this and should not be taken as what the makers were trying to get at.

This logo is copyright of the appropriate parties, Jurassic world is available from Amazon
Play.com,HMV and other retailers.

I was unable to see the film at the cinema so had to wait until it came out on DVD release. Well I watched it and enjoyed it, probably not as much as Jurassic Park but it was worth it. I'd give it a 7 out of 10. I've not written anything like this before so comments and questions are welcome.

To me this is an allegory of current employment practices. The Director of the park (upper management) sees and refers to the dinosaur exhibit as resources, things to be used which is true today of many employees.

These resources are not living things but numbers on a spreadsheet and this is mentioned in the film. The ultimate resource is a new genetically created dinosaur which is a metaphor for new but adverse working conditions. This resource creates chaos and requires those with special training - the raptors (human resources) to take the beastie down.

The trainer of the raptors immediately realises that this new beastie is not a good thing, he represents company policy, the rules and regulations that dictate how employer deals with employee and vice versa.

But if you notice, the raptors are only just under control, this refers to interpretation of policy and will turn on you given the slightest opportunity. They then join in with the beastie having realised that they have something in common. It is not until they again meet up with the trainer that they realise that there is something wrong and turn on the big beastie and get a good hiding.

It isn't until the old work force (T-Rex) is brought in that the tide turns and the big beastie is fed to the shark eating big alligator (namely the lawyers, though of course some would see this as a mixed metaphor but hey I didn't write the film).

The two children represent the effects that this has on the workforce, and those effects are not initially apparent when the beastie gets loose.

So what do you think. Have I interpreted the underlying theme of the film or am I way out? Seriously I'd love to hear your comments.

Thanks for reading

Kind regards
St.John

1k

This is a brief one.

Just a heartfelt post to thank everyone that has read my blog. My last post sent the figures over 1000 views. Thank you.

St.John

Books part one

Having time on my hands and to take my mind off a few things I have been reading. There are various books that I have on the go and they are all of different subjects. I am even writing or continuing to write a book and a screen play. The writing is a form of therapy, I am told that being creative can help me.

I have always been a big reader. I think nothing of reading the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and have done so several times. That is generally my preferred genre, namely fantasy but I do enjoy science fiction as well. I have also been known to read biographies, usually looking for inspiration for life and these include Sir Clive Woodward and Ben Carson. Then there are books about business including Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, Leading an Life by Jim Rohn amongst many others. I also enjoy history and this includes folk-lore, anything from the Anglo Saxons, Vikings and Celtic peoples and the myths and legends that surround them. Cosmology and astronomy (not to be confused with astrology which I do not believe in) are also on my reading list but I do admit that the maths behind the former baffles me. Last but not least is spirituality, this can be anything from Catholicism to Shinto. I tend not to read about things like Satanism, it does not interest me and to be honest I don't get it.

The following is the brief thoughts about the books that I am currently reading and from the title you will note that this is part one, there will be more exactly when is anybodies guess.

The first book I am reading is a fantasy book. Unless you have been hiding under a rock you will have heard of the TV series Game of Thrones this is based on a series of books by George R. R. Martin. I finished the first book back in the Spring of this year (2015) and in preparation bought the second instalment called "A Clash of Kings." I started reading this in April and just about managed to get past page 100 by the end of November. I just could not get into it and that really and I mean really irritates me. So having time on my hands (and a serious need for escapism) I set to reading this book. I am now over half way through and while I would not describe it as one of those books you aren't able to put down it is marvellous how one person can imagine something this complex and keep the story going without any mistakes in the plot. In reading about the books on line it is also apparent that there is even more complexity that I have missed and will need to read them again. Very impressive. I'd give it an 8 out of ten.

Number two is "The Book of English Magic" by Philip Carr-Gomm and Richard Heygate. I live in England and there is a conceit held by many English and even British people that there is something uniquely special about these islands. This book explores some of the history behind this sense by looking at the mysterious and uncanny beliefs that people here have held. It even tells you how to do things like dowsing and carving runes. It is easy to read but not a page turner, I read this occasionally. I'd give this one a 7 out of ten.

The last book I am currently reading is a business book called "GoPro" by Eric Worre. Unless you are in a Network Marketing business then this book is not for you. It is basically an instruction manual that gives the reader tips on how to build their business. It is also generic, and by that I mean not tied to any particular company so the tips and strategies can be used by anyone in any multi-level marketing business. This one I score a 9 out of 10.

The books above can be found at your local independent book store (if you can find one), Waterstones, Amazon and if you are in MLM/Network Marketing and are looking for business books or material about personal development then Knowledge is King is a good source of those books.

I really appreciate you reading this blog. Please feel free to comment.

Kind regards
St.John

What a difference a decade (or two) doesn't make.

In the car yesterday afternoon listening to the radio. A track that had meaning for me back in the 80's came on and I started singing along. The track was Alone by Heart. It was one of those songs from a time when I was all hormones - frothing desire and lust! The barely caged animal of reproductive need. Here's the track on Youtube

It is odd that at the time I would have moved the Earth for female companionship, if only I could have overcome my overwhelming shyness. Being alone with someone - that would have been heaven.

Now the song has new meaning.

Blessed with children it is now difficult to get time alone with my wife. Yes I would move heaven and Earth for a date night.

The more things change the more they stay the same!

Thank you for reading.

Kind regards
St.John

General update

Hello everyone. I haven't posted anything for a while. Sorry about that.

It isn't that I haven't been writing, I have written a couple of blogs but due to their nature I have felt the need to keep them private. There are simply some things that I do not want on the internet.

So here's an update.
I am off work and have been since the end of October. I am not going into details but it is due to illness. I am on the mend but have to admit that I am contemplating my future with the NHS. This is no small thing, I have worked in that institution for over 20 years and to leave would be a big step. Not one that I have made as yet. The job has changed in the years I have been doing it and I simply do not get the satisfaction in doing it any more. There is also the working conditions which seem to be deteriorating. Oh enough! I have some thinking to do.

Due to this I haven't been active with my business. Mainly as my employer would not be amused to find me doing my business while I am off ill and I am not at the point that I would be able to rely on my income from the business. This has cost me, cost me a lot.

Ok I'm getting political now so hold onto your hat (storm Desmond has divested me of mine a few times this weekend!) Yes I'm going to write about the situation in Syria. Let's do it in bullet points -

• We need to learn from history. Look at Iraq and Afghanistan. Are these notable successes?
• We can ruin the infrastructure with bombs which we will then have to pay for to rebuild!
• Innocents are going to die.
• More people are going to become refugees, increasing the exodus from that country.
• Do the government really think that the Daesh forces are going to just sit there and be bombed?
• There are groups that the government have identified as being undesirable, what if it is these groups that will fill the power vacuum?
• Oh and innocents are likely to die causing more people to be radicalised!

I am delighted that my MP voted against this madness.

Let me finish on a brighter note. The new Star Wars film is out in two weeks
SQUEEEE!

Thank you for reading
Kind regards
St.John