Decisions

I am conflicted.

I had a message from the great guy that introduced me to my business. There is a training session on Saturday, is there anything stopping me from going. Erm well yes there is. Saturday is the day I take my three youngest children to Karate.

Oh damn!

My business is important to me however there is no point having a business if it gets in the way of living the life you want. I already have a full time job that gets in the way of the lifestyle I desire. The kids are great but I think that only one of them would go to Karate without me at the moment. It is something we do together. On the other hand my business needs a boost at the moment and that will ultimately give me the lifestyle I want.

So do I sacrifice Karate or business this Saturday?

Jim Rohn is on record saying that in the early days he would not have sacrificed some of the time he would have spent in other areas of his life on his business. Darren Hardy also is a proponent of balancing your life. In his goal setting book Living Your Best Year Ever by Darren Hardy 2012 ISBN-13:978-0-9819512-0-1 he describes a system for building goals that are holistic, or based on you living life and setting goals for the entirety of that life not just one aspect. In line with this one of my goals is to become fitter, shed some excess body weight. This is really important to me.

On the other hand I could go to Karate on the following Monday. It's a tight squeeze and will only work if I can have the car. The Karate session begins two hours after work and if I am on the bus - well you know how reliable public transport is. Have tried this before and it all went belly up due to buses not being there when they were supposed to be.

So what is the worst that could happen. There are two areas to look at, Karate and Business.

If I miss the business training then nothing will happen. It will not improve and if it continues in the current vein will disappear. Not good.

If I miss Karate the children will be disappointed but there is always another class. Not ideal.

Looks like time for the lesser of two evils then.

Looking forwards

St.John

Personal development

Some times things happen in a weird synchronicity. This morning happened a bit like this.

On my way into work a friend asked a group of us on Whatsap what we are reading to aid our personal development. I replied that I am reading Leading an Inspired Life by Jim Rohn. He then asked how this is helping me with my business. I took a while to think about this. The book isn't a short pamphlet but is set out in short chapters which are "bite-sized". It is easy to take a chapter every day and think about it. Some chapters are longer than others.

Now for those of you that do not know, Jim Rohn was one of the foremost writers and speakers in the field of personal development. Many business leaders read him, watch his videos and listen to his audio programmes, along with many who are following in his footsteps in the field of personal development. Search for him on YouTube. While I do not agree with everything he writes about on the whole he was a genius.

Once I got into work, as usual I was there early so that I do not have to rush and can get settled into the idea of working in that place, I sat back and took out my copy of Shimbun. No don't worry I am not going to go into full flow about Karate - see the post Karate - business - personal development crossover. I turned to the page I had got to. Lo and behold it was an article about Goal setting. In this I came across ten questions that I have not come across before that can help to clarify your goals and keep them attainable. These are the ten questions -

1. Is my goal really my goal?
2. Do I clearly see my goal?
3. Am I depending on factors within my control to achieve my goal?
4. Does my goal compel me to accomplish it?
5. Do I have a strategy to reach my goal?
6. Have I included the people I need to realise my goal?
7. Am I willing to pay the price to attain my goal?
8. Am I moving closer to my goal?
9. Does working toward my goal bring satisfaction?
10. Does my goal benefit others?

I will be using these to help me tweak my written goals for the next 12 months.

I was surprised to see such an in-depth yet succinct piece of writing on the subject. It is odd to me now that the answer I gave when my colleague asked about personal development should have been the magazine Shimbun.

Looking forwards
St.John

Frustration, inaction and how to deal with it.

Following on from my one day off this weekend and preparing to go to work. Yes "work" is a four letter word, sorry for swearing! I realise that I am really frustrated. I have reviewed my business activity this week and I am disgusted and frustrated with myself.

To be fair with me, I have had a lot on this week. The excitement of having a new car, my eldest daughter's eighteenth birthday party and the sorrow that marked the passing of our second eldest child fifteen years ago. Maybe I am being a little hard on myself.

But it is difficult to look back on a fruitless week especially when you see others achieving and being promoted. At this point it would be easy to give up, just walk away. But I am stubborn, thanks Dad. I do not give up easily and I have read a fair few personal development books and CD's. The one quote haunts me, it is burned into my mind and in the moments that I consider throwing in the towel it has a habit of rearing its head and remind me that if I am to change my life then I am going to have to do things that are different to what I am doing currently. Here's the quote - I'll add the author when I remember/find out who it is. Feel free to add the author in the comments.

If you always do what you always did
You will always get what you always got!

So I am forgiving myself for this last week. I'm not going to berate myself any-more. Today is a new day and though Last week was fruitless this moment on is open to new possibilities. So I am going to plan my week, check my diary daily and associate with my colleagues. Oh and renew my driving license!

Looking forwards
St.John

Association

Association is one of the cornerstones of a Network Marketing business. The five people that you associate with most will dictate your income. So looking at the current group of people that you are currently associating with at the moment, if you take the average of their income your income is likely to be close to that mean.

This currently worries me as the people I associate with most at the moment have an income that is lower than mine. These are the people at work and my family. That may sound harsh but I am not criticising them, just stating what is true. For two years I have had a limited association with my business colleagues. This was enforced by the fact that I relied on public transport and lifts and in regards to the latter I did not want to be seen as dependent on other people. This situation has now changed and next week will have access to a car I will be able to get to the three meetings held every month and talk to and network with successful people.

But what has been the effect of this lack of contact with like minded people?

In short my business has been shrinking. Fortunately my own activity has led me personally to tread water but the signs are there that unless I do something the business will fail. I am not about to let that happen!

Does this mean that the people I currently associate with will be shoved aside? No - I'm sure my wife will be glad to hear this. But what is going to happen is that my mind will be fed by the association with people in a positive way. My focus will shift under this influence and my belief in the business will increase. All of this along with action will lead my business to grow.

All of this will be supported by my continued reading and watching of videos that will positively feed my mind.

Edited because blogger app will not let me put in html code!

A Hard One - feel free to skip.

The 23rd of July is always a difficult day. It is the day that my second eldest daughter was born and then died seven hours later. She was born at twenty four weeks. She would have been fifteen years old this year.

This isn't the first time I have written about her. The truth is I feel her with me cheering me on or putting a consoling arm around me in my triumphs and failures. I feel her presence, I choose to acknowledge her it helps abate the feeling of loss, though I do have to be careful not to become morose.

On this day though I give it over to her. My thoughts, my loss. When the Doctors told us that she could not survive it was a hammer blow. I felt like someone had ripped out a part of me and left an empty space. Looking back it almost seems that that part of me exists in that time, part of me that I have left behind in order to compensate for the experiences, the joy and the tears that have been lost in the intervening years.

I remember one very important thing that I needed to do before she passed. My wife's family have always been religious and they were able to ask a pastor to come to the hospital. He blessed our little girl but before this I called upon the ancestors of our families to witness her being named and welcome her into our family. This is something I have done will all of my children. This may seem a little strange but I take the opinion that we are all here by the grace of everyone who has gone before us.

"Lo there do I see my father;
Lo there do I see my mother, my sisters and my brothers;
Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning.
Lo, they do call me, they bid me take my place among them, in the halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever."

This is a quote from the 13th Warrior and was traced to an actual Viking burial. Pretty much sums up my feelings about this.

One last thing that I need to say. There were some awesome people around me at the time. Most I have lost touch with but not all. I just want to say that I am forever grateful for the support that was given at that time.

For Dannielle daughter.
For Joseph nephew.
For the other children lost to our family.

I only lost it once today. Don't think I'm going to find it 'till tomorrow.

Karate - business - personal development crossover

I knew this would happen. Karate is fundamentally about developing the self. The body may be fit but if the mental attitude is not behind it then defeat is always likely.
The club I train with puts out a magazine around twice a year. I have just started to read the latest one, my first since returning to training. The first article really hits the spot.
The article is writen by one of the top instructors with the club called Stacey Karetsian and the article is titled "The Way of the Inner Warrior."
Stacey writes that the mind is the driving force, that it is the fortitude of the will that enables us to develop beyond our self imposed boundaries. These boundaries are our conditioned responses and attitudes developed to prevent us experiencing loss which he referrs to as "The pain of failure." He goes on to say and I quote
We are on our own journey. We are all on our own path and we will progress at our own pace.
The key is not to compare ourselves to others. Sure we can be inspired by others and choose
to modelon their attitude and behaviour, but we must not judge ourselves against them.
He finishes by saying that by accepting this we build our self-worth.
I find that this speaks to me in all areas if life.

The article The Way of the Inner Warrior by Shihan Stacey Karetsian found in Shimbun the in house magazine of GKR Karate Volume 22 Number 1

No!

It is truly remarkable that some people are terrified of saying the word no. They concoct all manner of ways to get out of saying that one syllable word. In fact on many occasions this leads to them being down-right rude. Surely a simple "No thank you," is better than putting the phone down on someone or not turning up to an appointment. Then there are those that just become simply nasty.

I remember when I started my business I was eager, full of energy and completely ignorant of the ways that some go to to get out of saying no. So when one person cancelled an appointment via voice mail I followed up to try and re-make the appointment. I was confused that they weren't returning my calls until eventually it dawned on me that they weren't interested. Looking back on the then situation they must have been annoyed that I was constantly calling them but this entire situation could have been avoided if they had simply said no.

Very interesting human behaviour.

Karate + learning difficulties

My son was diagnosed with delayed development - a learning difficulty at around the age of three. He had been suffering with glue ear and had been profoundly deaf for a number of years, now that problem is resolved. He is a fantastic little man and I love him to bits.

He understands everything that is said to him but is unable to express himself very well. He is frightened of making a mistake.

I want the best for him and so took the decision to enrol him along with his sisters into GKR Karate. He has now done four classes and is doing well. I was worried a couple of trainings ago when he sat out and refused to train. I left him at home the next time but he has since been to two more trainings and has participated fully and even enjoyed himself.

I hope that this will build his confidence and aid him in his coordination.

Journey to a Black Belt

2.11.2006

I graded to 7th Kyu – Orange belt with GKR. That was pretty much the last serious session of Karate that I went to. Due to my wife being pregnant with twins I was unable to continue, we were to and fro from the hospital a lot and by November had a 13 month old baby as well. My eldest daughter continued for a time also achieving 7th Kyu but due to an increase in living costs we were unable to send her too after a while.

2012 still missing karate I went and checked out a local Shotokan dojo. I went along for a couple of lessons but found the venue not to be conducive to training. It wasn’t that the Sensei was a poor instructor on the contrary he was obviously well versed in Karate. It was literally the place. It was a large school hall that echoed and I found it almost impossible to hear instructions from across the hall.

This year with a brightening financial situation I decided that it was time to return. I found a dojo, sadly the previous location that I had regularly trained in was no longer operating and the new venue close by met on a night I could not make. So the next closest was an eye watering 4.5miles away. This was accessible via public transport as we didn’t have a car. So an hours journey there and back and a hour and a half training.

This wasn’t easy and a couple of times we missed a training session due to my work and not being able to get to the dojo on time.

Now we once again have a car. My children are approaching their first point of recognition with the club and I am working towards 6th Kyu. I am a long way away from a black belt but I am now again moving towards it.